I Was Miserable as an Introvert - Then I Realized This

I’ll save you some time: Introverts have a higher threshold for joy and happiness than extroverts! (source)

This isn’t about whether introverts or extroverts are better. The point of this post is to give you permission to be picky about your joy.

Once when I gave myself this permission, I have experienced so much relief! I’ll explain…

Realization #1: Small talk is torture, and that’s okay.

I hate most social interaction. I really don’t care where you live or how long you’ve been there, respectfully. It feels like reading from a script. And small talk? It’s everywhere, social settings, professional conversations, networking events.

For 27 years, I clenched my fists over this. I told myself it was my fault, that something was wrong with me. I thought I’d never have friends because every interaction felt the same.

Now, I can’t force myself to enjoy small talk, that’s impossible. But I can interrupt the self deprecating cycle by reminding myself: I just have a higher threshold for joy.

Instead of dwelling on my boredom, I pivot to something that does bring me joy: sending a deep dive voice memo to a friend, reading my Kindle (currently devouring Iron Flame), working out, playing with my dogs, cleaning, or treating myself to a solo slice of pizza.

I love so many things, and I need to remind myself of that, especially when I’m surrounded by extroverts. I used to judge myself for not loving what they do. Now, I just do what I love instead.

It took me 27 years to figure this out, but hey, we love when our frontal lobe finally develops. Grateful I know now!

Realization #2: I make products for introverts and sell like one too.

I create products for introverts because I am one. And that means I market differently, too.

For the longest time, I judged myself for not constantly promoting free webinars like other influencers. I’d think, Wow, look how much more organized they are. But then I had to remind myself:

Gab, you are literally ON TOP of your business. You believe in your products. You serve hundreds of thousands of people daily with knowledge and expertise. You’re just an introvert leading other introverts, silly!

Realization #3: The 30 Day Lazy Girl Job Challenge is built for introverts.

That’s why I don’t do traditional daily group coaching. You all rarely ask for it because, obviously, I attract a bunch of introverts.

Also, I never launch like an extrovert trying to reach the general population. My people are introverts. And I don’t need to create a huge self-deprecating story around that. I can own it!

For years, I felt ashamed of this. I thought I should create a super social community where we pretend to lean into our careers, do extra activities, and bond over Zoom calls. But the truth is, that makes me want to vomit.

And now I get it: this is my it factor. It’s why you all gravitate toward me.

We love our golden retriever extroverted career experts online, sure. But we, personally, do not want to sit in a Zoom room, introduce ourselves, break out into groups, and do icebreakers.

We want to lurk. Absorb at our own pace.

So, I made a 30 day program with zero commitments, zero social obligations, and one guarantee: You will figure out at least one way to make your job lazier.

It is just one Substack email a day, one piece of advice, one actionable tip. Take it or leave it, no pressure.

Join anytime. Whether it is week 2 or week 4, you have not “missed” anything. There is no FOMO here ever.

That is it. You are already overworked enough.

You can learn how to join here ⬇️

Hundreds of readers like you have joined this challenge, earning this Substack a spot on the Substack Best Seller list!

A few disclaimers for the fellow pseudo science girlies:

• Human Design: 6/2 Splenic Projector

• Life Path Number: 8

• MBTI: INTJ

• Astrology: Pisces Sun, Aquarius Moon, Gemini Rising (3 Pisces placements, 3 Aquarius placements)

• Enneagram: I don’t do it, the questions annoy me.

• Saturn Return Warning: Starts May 2025 when Saturn enters Aries. Anything I mess up from May 2025 to April 2028, this is my apology in advance.

If you’re into this kind of thing, you’re probably nodding like, Yep, checks out.

If you’re repulsed by this kind of stuff, relax. I’m still grounded in reality. You have nothing to fear.

Xoxo,

Gabrielle