Dead Coworkers Theory
Most of Your Coworkers are Bots
You’ve probably heard of the Dead Internet Theory, the idea that most of the internet isn’t real people, but bots. Wikipedia calls it a “conspiracy theory,” but the Barracuda Report shows that 64% of internet traffic is automated. That includes bots, hacking tools, and even your smart fridge or Alexa.
So maybe it’s not all bots. But it’s definitely not no bots.
And as someone who posts online daily, I can tell. You start to notice the difference between real humans and comment section filler. The vibe is off.
Here’s where it gets interesting. I actually love this theory. It helps me work. Especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed by being perceived.
If I have a rough day online like rude comments, weird engagement, anxiety about switching up my content, I just remind myself: 70% of this is AI. If I bomb, I bomb in front of robots. And robots don’t care.
Is it delusion? Yes.
Is it freeing? Also yes.
I don’t spiral. I don’t second guess. I just gaslight myself into thinking the internet isn’t real and move on with my life. It’s a lazier, lighter way to get from Point A to Point B without carrying emotional dread the whole way.
To be clear: I don’t think of you like that. Especially not my Substack community. But when I’m posting to a For You page full of strangers on Instagram or TikTok, this mindset helps me take risks without fear.
So let me flip the script. What if you brought that same energy to your 9 to 5?
Work is full of internal dialogue rooted in fear. Fear of being judged, rejected, passed over, or perceived as too much. That’s why you feel a rush of relief on WFH days. No performance. No small talk. No social tightrope.
The truth is, most of us don’t operate from confidence or abundance. We operate from fear. Corporate America is built on it. If you knew you were good enough, you wouldn’t be chasing every new pile of busywork rebranded as a “growth opportunity.”
So here's your reminder. Sometimes, you have to mentally log out. Not everything is that serious. Not everyone is even real. And if that helps you move through the world with less fear and more freedom? Lean into it.